i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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