in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
After tacos, we're chasing women.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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