So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Randomize
