what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
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