Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
