Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
