It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
