We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
