I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
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