Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
