Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
