You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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