Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I don't deserve a penis
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
