I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
