Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
