I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
