apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
