Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
