I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Hippo gnu deer
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
