i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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