Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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