with your own penis?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
