nutella sex= disaster
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
