bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
