just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Randomize
