between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
