Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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