she was so not down for the gang bang
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
My penis needs a shock collar
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Randomize
