Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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