he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
