You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
