I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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