Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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