please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
