note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
