i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
