Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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