Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
