@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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