I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
