I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
two words: eviction party
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
