So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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