He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
