piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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