I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
We need to get me chipped asap
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
