Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
