I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
