Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
