...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
