You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
